IFN: 'We all boil at different degrees.'
Let me say from the off I'm a kindly man,
A patter of the heads of small dogs.
Controlling my temper is something I do
With an ease like falling off logs.
I'm known for my unruffled exterior
Even a joie de vivre of sorts-
An absence of malice, a vacuum of bile
Iron control over bitter retorts.
It is important to keep things in context-
Keep all your assumptions intact.
Don't leap to hasty conclusions
Until you've carefully weighed up the facts.
I concur that the mouse that you spotted
As it scurried across the parquet
Was as cute as the proverbial button
So I gracefully allowed he could stay.
And though I wanted to call him Ivor
Or at a pinch Albert or Stan,
When you gleefully christened him Jerry
I consented 'cause I'm that kind of man.
We could all have lived happily thereafter
Just Jerry the mouse thee and me,
Harmonious co-habitation
An idyll of pure harmony.
But the bloom of our peace was to wither
By stint of an untimely frost.
Metaphorical lines were stepped over
And sadly, paradise lost.
That the rodent must die is inevitable,
There are some laws it's fatal to flout;
He nibbled on my bar of chocolate
His fate's no longer in doubt.
So I crouch in the dark with my hatred
The bells toll a final farewell,
The end will be soon now for Jerry
As I cast him down to mouse hell!
